Coming out of the closet is a very sensitive situation. You have to be ready.
I don’t mean ready for the reaction that everyone is going to give you, I mean ready for YOUR reaction. You see, when you actually say the words “I’m gay” you are actually affirming to yourself complete acceptance for something you may have grown up hearing was an abomination.
I remember saying those words “I’m gay” – it was the summer of 1993.
I was dating a guy that I thought I was in love with. He was my last ditch effort at being straight. We were having a very serious conversation. He wanted to take our relationship to the next level and I had to stop him. I said “I can’t continue our relationship. I’m gay.” The words just flew out of my mouth.
You think he was stunned? So was I!
I didn’t know where those words had come from but I knew I believed them with every fiber of my being. He was the first person I told. Shocking because I hadn’t even told myself. I mean, I had an idea but I didn’t know I was ready. When my boyfriend was telling me that he loved me and wanted to eventually get married and have children, I saw my life fly before my eyes. I was scared. I was miserable. I knew that being with him or any other man would make me very unhappy. I saw myself living the American Dream, but NOT MY DREAM! I had to speak up.
Alejandro was my ticket to a straight life. Either board now or stand clear of the closing doors! I stood up and walked away. I saved my life.
From that moment on, I committed to loving myself regardless of what my die hard Catholic family thought of me. I was on my personal journey to freedom. After many years of soul searching, I believe that I was born this way. I went through some deep dark moments in my life, but coming out of the proverbial closet shed light on my life. I am now happily married to my wife of ten years and we have two beautiful children. I had my white wedding, with our catholic family and friends on our most special day!
If you are struggling, contact me. I know what it’s like to be in the closet. I know what it’s like to admit to yourself that you are… gay! If you outed yourself today, I hope it’s because YOU were ready and YOU wanted to affirm that life is really going to be okay!
As a close friend says to me every day, #loveyourselfNOW!
Happy National Coming Day!
–Micki Gamez, 92.3 NOW
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