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I’m not talking nonsensical tangents about #winning and tiger blood, I mean he’s actually going to replace Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men.

Kutcher broke the news to his fans on Twitter by tweeting, “What’s the square root of 6.25?”

Relax. Don’t break out the calculator, it’s 2.5.

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According to Deadline.com, Kutcher inked the deal with Warner Bros. yesterday. Lots of folks were vying for the bad boy’s replacement, including Woody Harrelson, Rob Lowe, John Stamos, Jeremy Piven, and even Hugh Grant. But in the end it was Kutcher’s stellar reputation as a professional that attracted Chuck Lorre.

Lorre, the producer of Two and a Half Men, has had a contentious relationship with Sheen for years, and wanted someone that he could easily work with this time.

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No word on what Kutcher’s character will be, but something tells me it’ll be something along the lines of Kelso 2.0.

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