Katy Perry @ Perez' 32nd Birthday Bash

Oh [lastfm]Katy Perry[/lastfm], don’t you know that celebrities are always under the vigilant and watchful eyes of the Paparazzis? Actually, yes I’m sure you’re well aware of that fact, which is probably why you decided to show up to Perez Hilton‘s birthday party on Saturday night riding a friggin’ elephant. But come on, this pic is just ridiculous…

I’m sorry, but this picture that was snapped of my love, Katy Perry, should never have been allowed to see the light of day. Think of the poor elephants. Now every pachyderm this side of the Serengeti will be lining up for photos with her, and that certainly can’t be safe. Think of the children… who will take the blame when countless kids get mauled after attempting to make out with “Barack” the Ringling Bros. elephant?

More importantly, think of your soon to be husband, Russell Brand. He doesn’t need to see you doing this… trust me.

UNLESS…

Perhaps the elephant was choking and need some CPR. That’s it! Katy Perry saves elephant from choking at Perez Hilton’s 32nd birthday party! That’s the headline I’ll keep in my head.