Gerard Butler Can’t Get Laid

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Sparta!Gerard Butler is the new “it” man, it would seem. He’s even got the cover of this month’s Men’s Journal to prove it. Inside, Gerard is extremely candid about his sex life and lack there of. He paints the picture of himself as self-absorbed and totally neurotic.

Gerard, you’re totally ruining my fantasy.

“I think I get laid less now than I used to, because I’m way more paranoid now – look at f-ing Tiger Woods! I mean, I’m nowhere near as naughty as I used to be, partly because I did a lot of that when I was drinking.”

Okay, so the bonus in that statement is that he’s more sober now than he used to be.  I’m working hard to somehow salvage my celebrity crush on him, which got harder as the interview continued:

“In the last five years since coming out here, I’ve had two relationships. I’m not a big relationship guy. One of my vices is, I’m too wrapped up in myself and not always in a good way.”

Hmm, that one’s harder to spin, but not as hard as this one:

“I was born into a world of anxiety… I am slightly addicted to anxiety. When I’m feeling anxious, I’ll create more anxiety for myself. Like I might call all these people about what’s fun to do tonight and end up with four different options, which in itself would put me into a blind panic; but then I’ll make another four calls just to make it 10 times more anxiety-ridden.”

Ugh, that’s it, I need a new celebrity crush. You totally ruined you for me Gerard.

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