Okay, I’m just going to say what everyone else is thinking. NO MORE STUFFED ANIMALS. Especially those holding puffy red hearts that  say “I wuv wu” or whatever they say. As a proud member of the adult population, I can say that I have never in my life met anyone who was really psyched to get a stuffed animal for any occasion… especially Valentine’s Day.

I once picked a fight with a boyfriend for the sole purpose of creating an opportunity to throw out the giant stuffed Rottweiler covered in Old Spice (he bought it at a dollar store, and decided to cover up the moth ball smell with cologne) he had got me for Valentine’s Day. My apartment is not big enough for a) a pet; and b) to dissipate the noxious fumes.


If you’re lost for what to do for your honey on Valentine’s Day without breaking the bank, don’t worry I’ve got ideas:

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Breakfast In Bed:
This year V-Day is on a Sunday, it doesn’t happen on a weekend very often, and a Sunday is perfect for creating a lazy day at home. Who knows, after breakfast you may do something else in bed too, you know, like watch Meet the Press.

Get your masseur on:
Start exercising those thumbs now, come Valentine’s Day nothin’ says lovin’ (and take your top off) quite like a massage. Forgo the expensive body oils, baby oil or lotion will work just fine when it comes to rubbing down your honey.  If you want to be extra generous (and cheap) you can make them coupons to come back for more…just remember that if they cash in you do have to follow through, it’s a present.

Go to a Museum:
You are in New York City, we are the museum capital of the world.  Since Central Park is a bit too frigid to walk around right now, take a slow stroll, hand-in-hand and look at pretty stuff. Or Sexy stuff, if you decide to go to the Museum of Sex (yes, it does have a gift shop).

Couples Yoga:
Health conscious couples may want to forgo the candy hearts and head to Om Yoga their Restorative OM yoga for Couples.  This is also a great alternative to get your special someone to zip-it for two whole hours.  The class isn’t free, but Om Yoga is a bit cheaper than other couples yoga classes, and it’s a highly reputable studio. The class will run you $50, reservations are suggested.

Ice Skating:
Bryant Park has a big, beautiful, free ice skating rink. As far as I’m concerned ice skating is one of the cutest couple activities. Either you’re both rock stars on skates  and will make everyone jealous; one of you is a speed demon, the other a novice, which can create super cute clinginess; or you both suck, which will lead to hysterical bouts of laughter.  Ice skating is a win-win, just don’t break any bones, that’s such a mood dampener.

Do-It-Yourself Wine Tasting:
Head to Trader Joe’s or some other cheap winery, pick out a few bottles and your good classes and make a night of drinking wine, discussing, it, and quite possibly getting nockered in the comfort of your own home.  As maybe you can tell, I like dates at home, they’re so close to the bed.

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Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be expensive restaurants and over-priced theme cocktails, there is plenty to do in this city that doesn’t cost a pretty penny, you just have to be creative.  No go out there and get your smooch on.